The torch just went out in the Olympic Park in Sochi, and I'm really, really sad. Mostly because I know I won't have as much fun as we had for another 4 years, but I'm also sad that something we've been planning ever since we left London in August 2012 is over! We'll be even MORE prepared in Korea!
I'm planning to post a video with all of our photos soon, so watch out for that!
In the meantime, I'd like to hand out some awards and recognize some great quotes:
Favorite Event: Snowboard Cross. It was so exciting when they would all pop up over the last hill, and all the crashes and races made it fabulous. I'm definitely getting tickets to as many "races" as possible at our next games.
Favorite app: Sorry Sochi 2014, you're close second, but the translator app all the Russkies were using to communicate with us wins. Questions about "molesting" us and other hilarity I SHOULD have photographed made for much better laughs.
Favorite Foreign Fans: The Russians. They cheer in a lower voice. They want to be best friends with USA! They were the ONLY country to party with us when biathlon got cancelled! (Vincent, too, but it's possible we held him hostage). The Aussies take a close second for me. Every person we met was friendly, chatty, and they cheered for us sometimes (Canada, take note! You can redeem yourself in Korea!)
Favorite Christenson Sister: Lara. She tried to stay with me when they were taking me away in an ambulance. I gave her noravirus and she forgave me. She woke up early with me every day, no matter what time we got to bed, to make it to events on time so that we didn't miss a minute of the precious time we'd been purchasing tickets for over the past year. She napped with me on the train. She forgave me for dropping her cowbell into oblivion when we still had events left. I love my sister.
Favorite American fans: Ben and Heather. They were on their HONEYMOON. Who needs Sandals when you can drink beer at "halftime" for Super Combined with other Big Ten grads, do snuff, have a "photo shoot" at Austria House, and get free tickets for Ski Jump that night? We'll see you crazy kids in Korea!
Favorite Olympic Athlete: Mikaela Shiffrin. USA had a hard Olympics from a medal perspective, so her teenage optimism was refreshing and she never gave up hope!
Favorite kids: Russian kids, duh. They're awesome. They never whine, they behave like little angels (even in MUSEUMS), and they adorably don't smile in photos. Individual award: The Australian kid who "went for the Colts", had the biggest toothy grin, and agreed that he was the luckiest kid in the world. The worst was the kid from NYC who had been on the Today show, came with his dad and was going to all kinds of events, and when I suggested HE was the luckiest kid in the world, he said "Why?". Wrong answer, bucko. Gulag for you.
Favorite conversation overheard: Russians telling a Czech that Obama had pushed propaganda into the American media about not coming to the Olympic games, and that's why there weren't many Americans there. It sounded a lot like the stuff you hear our media saying about Putin, so it was pretty funny.
Favorite mascot: I have to agree with Putin, the snow leopard was the coolest.
Some fun quotes:
"It's the Notre Dame of the world"--Lara, on no one cheering for China
"You're a lesbian"--Russian guy's answer when we asked him if he knew what the rainbow ribbon around my cowboy hat meant. We tried to tell him it meant I was a supporter, but he was really non-chalant about it anyway. None of the 30+ Russians we took photos with that night had a problem with it.
"No more 8's??"--Heather, on the lack of her favorite beer. 8 was wheat beer, 7 was lager, 0 was ALCOHOL FREE. They always had plenty of those, but ran out of lots of things pretty regularly. Especially during "halftime" of super combined.
"So washing hands after the bathroom is an American thing?" ---Lara, on the Russian propensity to NEVER wash their hands in the ladies room. It was weird. They seemed to be doing it in Moscow, so maybe it's only at sporting events?
"Russia is like kryponite for Americans"--Jessica after every American fell at half-pipe
"What's with the slow motion of him eating an apple? Is it for the ladies?"--Lara. For some reason, on Valentine's Day, they were showing slow motion videos of the skiers eating apples and bananas on the big screen. It was ODD. And awkward.
I'm going to miss our Russian brothers, they were the best hosts to us. I'll never forget our time in Sochi, and the bar is set very high for Korea! Can't wait to bring you all there with us!
Jessica
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
Lara's Reasons Why Not
We love that so many of you have enjoyed our Olympic blog and followed our Sochi adventure! We're even more thrilled that so many of you have expressed interest in going yourselves-it is most definitely the trip and experience of a lifetime! We're planning a blog post that goes over what it costs to go to the Olympics, so hopefully that will push even the more tentative folks over the edge into YES territory! And if you are a little hesitant, here are some reasons to go (or not go) to the Olympics if you're waffling...
DO go if you straight up love the Olympics-every event, no matter the medal chances of your home country.
DON'T go if you only want to see very few and very specific events. You're limiting your schedule, your ticket options and prices, and where you'll get to go at the Olympics. If you only want to see events in the mountains at the Winter Olympics, you don't get into Olympic Park for free, and it's definitely worth seeing.
DO go if you love to travel and experience other cultures. Planning your trip and actually being at the Games is a mind-blowing cultural mixup of epic proportions. Interacting with others outside of your own cultural comfort zone results in funny misunderstandings, strange friendships, and a camaraderie that doesn't exist when the Olympics aren't happening. When I go to visit Jessica in London later this year, I highly doubt anyone will talk to me about the Olympics, even if I wear my red, white, and blue America flair on the Tube (which is a very very sad thought). The very fact of the Games in a location creates a very special atmosphere of friendliness and fun.
DON'T go if you get frustrated at the idea of non-English speaking volunteers, or non-English signage. Non-verbal communication works, but it takes some patience.
DO go if you want to see every event possible during your time there, even something that comes up unexpectedly. There are always tickets available to something, sometimes people are even giving them away for free! Always be up for a new adventure.
DON'T go if you want to do a lot of sightseeing and tourism based activities. The Olympics bring a LOT of people to town, and guess what? They all want to see the Tower of London. Or the Christ the Redeemer statue. Or any other myriad of destination highlights. Unless you plan extra days at the beginning or end of your trip, or a few days in the middle specifically for these things, the time and effort spent getting from one event to the next is time consuming and doesn't allow for a lot of last minute stops. Erin and I were going to see all manner of London's best tourist destinations-the Tower, the British Museum, the National Gallery, the British Library, etc. We saw Churchill's bunker and went on a Thames river boat ride. Late nights spent carousing with Brazilians, Germans, Aussies, the English, and the Dutch make getting up early really difficult. You're there for the Olympics. BE there for the Olympics. If you really want to go to Rio, then go to Rio when it's not packed to the gills with people, hotels are overpriced, and flights are overbooked.
DO go if you are prepared to cheer your ass off, dance like no one is watching, and wave your flag like a nutty patriot at the Boston Tea Party. Because that's what this is ABOUT.
DON'T go if you are afraid to look silly or too pro-American. The greatest thing about the Olympics is that you don't have to cloak your patriotism in guilt (as if you should anyway-what's wrong with loving your homeland?). And if you think wearing some beads or crazy hats is a little over the line, there are dudes in unitards. There is no way you ever look like the most ridiculous person in the venue.
DO go if you are always someone that says "YES!"
DON'T go if you are someone that isn't up for something exciting, new, and unknown. Snuff? Why not? Ride on the Olympic Park shuttle? Why not? Take pictures with random strangers? Why not? If you can think of reasons why not, then you are missing out on the opportunity to have so much fun your abs are sore from laughing for days afterward. No one likes a party pooper.
DO go if you are prepared to do a lot of work to get to the Games. This isn't like a normal vacation. It's not just about finding a hotel room, it's about finding a place in a location that is close to transportation, or in an area/neighborhood that you want to be. With the amount of time it can take to get a venue, these factors are important, and research and patience are a huge part of it. Buying tickets also takes a concerted effort, as you have to plan in advance the tickets you want, establish what you want to pay for them, and then actually buy them. For countries like Russia and Brazil, you also need to understand and prepare properly for the additional visa requirements, which can be complicated and confusing.
DON'T go if you expect this work to be done for you. If you can't help with one thing, help with another. Be an active participant in the trip-it gets everyone excited when everyone is contributing news, updates, and other exciting facets of the Games!
DO go if you are okay with less than ideal conditions. Mother Nature doesn't always cooperate for events to go off when you have a ticket for it. Sometimes there is brown drinking water, stray dogs, and strange toilets. You will survive. You might get norovirus, but you will survive.
DON'T go if you are easily frustrated at change, or have toilet anxiety in foreign countries. The best way to figure out if this is you is to find out how you feel about porta-potties. If you refuse to use a porta-potty, stay home. Not that every toilet is a porta-pottie, and it's not like people should be amped to use a porta-pottie, but don't subject your fellow travellers to weird constraints or travel speedbumps based on your toilet hang ups.
DO go if you are okay with surviving on hot dogs and donuts. You'll be able to squeeze in a few decent meals here and there as time and schedule allows. But don't get your hopes up on fancy restaurant reservations-you're going to be exhausted and sometimes a hot dog just seems like a lot less of a hassle.
DON'T go if you are a picky eater that can't be satisfied with mere concession stand food. Look, I get it-I'm a total foodie, but the Olympics are not the time to demand Michelin star restaurant service. You're going to be eating a LOT of concession stand food-some of it okay, some of it terrible, some of it that words can't possibly describe. What feeds you during the Olympics is the experience. And the beer.
If you want to go, feel free to ask us questions! We'll answer whatever we can!
DO go if you straight up love the Olympics-every event, no matter the medal chances of your home country.
DON'T go if you only want to see very few and very specific events. You're limiting your schedule, your ticket options and prices, and where you'll get to go at the Olympics. If you only want to see events in the mountains at the Winter Olympics, you don't get into Olympic Park for free, and it's definitely worth seeing.
DO go if you love to travel and experience other cultures. Planning your trip and actually being at the Games is a mind-blowing cultural mixup of epic proportions. Interacting with others outside of your own cultural comfort zone results in funny misunderstandings, strange friendships, and a camaraderie that doesn't exist when the Olympics aren't happening. When I go to visit Jessica in London later this year, I highly doubt anyone will talk to me about the Olympics, even if I wear my red, white, and blue America flair on the Tube (which is a very very sad thought). The very fact of the Games in a location creates a very special atmosphere of friendliness and fun.
DON'T go if you get frustrated at the idea of non-English speaking volunteers, or non-English signage. Non-verbal communication works, but it takes some patience.
DO go if you want to see every event possible during your time there, even something that comes up unexpectedly. There are always tickets available to something, sometimes people are even giving them away for free! Always be up for a new adventure.
DON'T go if you want to do a lot of sightseeing and tourism based activities. The Olympics bring a LOT of people to town, and guess what? They all want to see the Tower of London. Or the Christ the Redeemer statue. Or any other myriad of destination highlights. Unless you plan extra days at the beginning or end of your trip, or a few days in the middle specifically for these things, the time and effort spent getting from one event to the next is time consuming and doesn't allow for a lot of last minute stops. Erin and I were going to see all manner of London's best tourist destinations-the Tower, the British Museum, the National Gallery, the British Library, etc. We saw Churchill's bunker and went on a Thames river boat ride. Late nights spent carousing with Brazilians, Germans, Aussies, the English, and the Dutch make getting up early really difficult. You're there for the Olympics. BE there for the Olympics. If you really want to go to Rio, then go to Rio when it's not packed to the gills with people, hotels are overpriced, and flights are overbooked.
DO go if you are prepared to cheer your ass off, dance like no one is watching, and wave your flag like a nutty patriot at the Boston Tea Party. Because that's what this is ABOUT.
DON'T go if you are afraid to look silly or too pro-American. The greatest thing about the Olympics is that you don't have to cloak your patriotism in guilt (as if you should anyway-what's wrong with loving your homeland?). And if you think wearing some beads or crazy hats is a little over the line, there are dudes in unitards. There is no way you ever look like the most ridiculous person in the venue.
DO go if you are always someone that says "YES!"
DON'T go if you are someone that isn't up for something exciting, new, and unknown. Snuff? Why not? Ride on the Olympic Park shuttle? Why not? Take pictures with random strangers? Why not? If you can think of reasons why not, then you are missing out on the opportunity to have so much fun your abs are sore from laughing for days afterward. No one likes a party pooper.
DO go if you are prepared to do a lot of work to get to the Games. This isn't like a normal vacation. It's not just about finding a hotel room, it's about finding a place in a location that is close to transportation, or in an area/neighborhood that you want to be. With the amount of time it can take to get a venue, these factors are important, and research and patience are a huge part of it. Buying tickets also takes a concerted effort, as you have to plan in advance the tickets you want, establish what you want to pay for them, and then actually buy them. For countries like Russia and Brazil, you also need to understand and prepare properly for the additional visa requirements, which can be complicated and confusing.
DON'T go if you expect this work to be done for you. If you can't help with one thing, help with another. Be an active participant in the trip-it gets everyone excited when everyone is contributing news, updates, and other exciting facets of the Games!
DO go if you are okay with less than ideal conditions. Mother Nature doesn't always cooperate for events to go off when you have a ticket for it. Sometimes there is brown drinking water, stray dogs, and strange toilets. You will survive. You might get norovirus, but you will survive.
DON'T go if you are easily frustrated at change, or have toilet anxiety in foreign countries. The best way to figure out if this is you is to find out how you feel about porta-potties. If you refuse to use a porta-potty, stay home. Not that every toilet is a porta-pottie, and it's not like people should be amped to use a porta-pottie, but don't subject your fellow travellers to weird constraints or travel speedbumps based on your toilet hang ups.
DO go if you are okay with surviving on hot dogs and donuts. You'll be able to squeeze in a few decent meals here and there as time and schedule allows. But don't get your hopes up on fancy restaurant reservations-you're going to be exhausted and sometimes a hot dog just seems like a lot less of a hassle.
DON'T go if you are a picky eater that can't be satisfied with mere concession stand food. Look, I get it-I'm a total foodie, but the Olympics are not the time to demand Michelin star restaurant service. You're going to be eating a LOT of concession stand food-some of it okay, some of it terrible, some of it that words can't possibly describe. What feeds you during the Olympics is the experience. And the beer.
If you want to go, feel free to ask us questions! We'll answer whatever we can!
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Goodbye To The Sochi
Aw, Sochi, we hardly knew ya, now it's time to leave ya. I know that we keep saying that it's hard to put into words how much fun the Olympics are, and part of it is because you are so focused on the fun and atmosphere that you forget about all of the little, hilariously random moments. Like seeing guys in French unitards checking their text messages at the train station. Or thinking you have a private joke on how the train announcer says "Esto Sodok" until you see Russians giggling about the same thing. Or fighting with a cab driver who took you to Adler AIRport, not the Adler Port, and agreeing on an increased price that includes kisses. (Yes, I'm aware that I talk too fast). Or the way when Russian men "make" photos with you they want to be in the MIDDLE of the women, like you are theirs. Or how amazing it feels to order food at a place where you get it quickly (thanks, Adler train station!).
So here we are at the end, and I'd love to share my favorites:
Favorite Event: Ski Jumping. Although Snowboard Cross was thrilling and exciting, the party atmosphere and the cheers of the crowd when a particular jump was achieved was awesome. Plus, we met some amazing American siblings there!
Favorite Venue: Biathlon. Both days, ha ha. The first day when it got cancelled, we made a party in the fog and had a great time even without an actual event. And we met a super cool guy, Vincent, who partied with us all night, and a German man that gave us sweeties. Which is now my favorite word for candy. Then when we finally got to see the event, we were in General Admission, again a giant party, with a really intimate concession and bathroom area. Plus-SNOWSTORM!
Favorite USA vs. Russia Moment: Yeah, I made up an arbitrary event in order to shoehorn in our kickass hockey game experience. 8 shootouts! The Russians were so into the game, a tiny tiny tiny tiny part of me almost wanted them to win just to see their reaction. Honorable mention: A chess set at a souvenir fair that had old Soviet flags and US flags on the chess pieces.
Favorite Event Where We Got To See An American Medal: Well, there was only 1-Snowboard Cross. But it was GREAT!
Favorite Country House: We only went to one, but it was killer. Austria House, we will never forget your delicious schnitzel and the roast beef and potatoes. And the Stigel. Definitely the Stigel.
Favorite Foreign Fans: The Russians. Sure, there were great costumes and friendly folks from all over (except for you, CANADA), but the Russians were great hosts, and were such an amazing home crowd for their athletes. Plus, they kept saying "Russia and America, FRIENDS FOREVER!" I hope we entertained them. Honorable Mention: Australians. Funny and friendly. And not too good to rub elbows with loud Americans (ahem, Canada)
Favorite Cab Ride: The one with the drunk guys. Mainly because it was slightly terrifying and therefore thrilling.
Favorite Stray Dog: The 3 legged one. Everyone loves an underdog.
Favorite Toilet: The undiscovered treasure of the handicapped toilets with super clean facilities and no line. Definitely not the one I hung out with for an entire night thanks to norovirus.
Favorite Christenson Sister: Jessica. Yes, we got in a fight. Yes, we bickered. But I dare you to find a sister that loves the Olympics and has as much fun with foreigners as my sister does.
Favorite Trivia Question: Stella the Fella. Look it up. You can finish reading this when you've stopped laughing.
Favorite Olympian Name: Freek Van Der Woort.
Favorite Handsome Olympic Athlete: Hot Norwegian curling guy. Otherwise known as Mr. Handsome.
Favorite Concession Food: Well, besides beer. Chocolate Donuts! The food was that terrible at the venues.
Favorite Security Pat Down: I feel like Adler Train Station gave the best breast massages.
I'm sad to leave. My flag is sad, too. Our flight is at 5:30am, so that means no last super fun night, because I'm not in my 20's and know what that would feel like on the flight. We'll have our final awards to post and lots more random thoughts once we have a chance to put a few hours of sleep together in a row stateside. This is important, because I'm already dropping my articles and other unnecessary words like our new Russian friends. Until then, Dos Verdanya!!
So here we are at the end, and I'd love to share my favorites:
Favorite Event: Ski Jumping. Although Snowboard Cross was thrilling and exciting, the party atmosphere and the cheers of the crowd when a particular jump was achieved was awesome. Plus, we met some amazing American siblings there!
Favorite Venue: Biathlon. Both days, ha ha. The first day when it got cancelled, we made a party in the fog and had a great time even without an actual event. And we met a super cool guy, Vincent, who partied with us all night, and a German man that gave us sweeties. Which is now my favorite word for candy. Then when we finally got to see the event, we were in General Admission, again a giant party, with a really intimate concession and bathroom area. Plus-SNOWSTORM!
Favorite USA vs. Russia Moment: Yeah, I made up an arbitrary event in order to shoehorn in our kickass hockey game experience. 8 shootouts! The Russians were so into the game, a tiny tiny tiny tiny part of me almost wanted them to win just to see their reaction. Honorable mention: A chess set at a souvenir fair that had old Soviet flags and US flags on the chess pieces.
Favorite Event Where We Got To See An American Medal: Well, there was only 1-Snowboard Cross. But it was GREAT!
Favorite Country House: We only went to one, but it was killer. Austria House, we will never forget your delicious schnitzel and the roast beef and potatoes. And the Stigel. Definitely the Stigel.
Favorite Foreign Fans: The Russians. Sure, there were great costumes and friendly folks from all over (except for you, CANADA), but the Russians were great hosts, and were such an amazing home crowd for their athletes. Plus, they kept saying "Russia and America, FRIENDS FOREVER!" I hope we entertained them. Honorable Mention: Australians. Funny and friendly. And not too good to rub elbows with loud Americans (ahem, Canada)
Favorite Cab Ride: The one with the drunk guys. Mainly because it was slightly terrifying and therefore thrilling.
Favorite Stray Dog: The 3 legged one. Everyone loves an underdog.
Favorite Toilet: The undiscovered treasure of the handicapped toilets with super clean facilities and no line. Definitely not the one I hung out with for an entire night thanks to norovirus.
Favorite Christenson Sister: Jessica. Yes, we got in a fight. Yes, we bickered. But I dare you to find a sister that loves the Olympics and has as much fun with foreigners as my sister does.
Favorite Trivia Question: Stella the Fella. Look it up. You can finish reading this when you've stopped laughing.
Favorite Olympian Name: Freek Van Der Woort.
Favorite Handsome Olympic Athlete: Hot Norwegian curling guy. Otherwise known as Mr. Handsome.
Favorite Concession Food: Well, besides beer. Chocolate Donuts! The food was that terrible at the venues.
Favorite Security Pat Down: I feel like Adler Train Station gave the best breast massages.
I'm sad to leave. My flag is sad, too. Our flight is at 5:30am, so that means no last super fun night, because I'm not in my 20's and know what that would feel like on the flight. We'll have our final awards to post and lots more random thoughts once we have a chance to put a few hours of sleep together in a row stateside. This is important, because I'm already dropping my articles and other unnecessary words like our new Russian friends. Until then, Dos Verdanya!!
Monday, February 17, 2014
"Disappointed Sisters"
Hey, did you guys see this???? We're famous. Don't worry, we promise not to change. We were already jerks before the fame arrived.
Bloomberg News Blurb
So, yes, disppointed sisters and disappointed friends we were indeed to have the 2nd of 2 events in a row cancel due to the fog. We had no events for tomorrow, so luckily, the rescheduled times work with what we had going on!! Thank goodness we didn't get more greedy when it came to tickets, otherwise I would be missing out on 2 of my favorite events to watch-biathlon and snowboard cross! Snowboard cross, for those that don't know, is an actual RACE. No timed runs of one person down the hill, just you against the other people beside you. The USA has good medal chances here. WATCH IT. It's great, you'll love it!
Biggest Olympic tip and life tip EVER: Always have an emergency meetup point. Always. At every venue, at every public transit stop, always, always, always have a meetup point. We have found that even though the Olympic crowds are smaller, they are also like the Mississippi River when it comes to exiting. Even in the General Admission section, it can be impossible to find your friends if you meet there! The funny thing we found is that we all DO think alike in "What would person X do?" but that doesn't help when there are thousands of people trying to leave a venue.
After Jess and I lost Erin and Mike, we ended up finally having a proper Russian (well, Georgian) meal at a place in Esto Sodok, which is in the mountain cluster. We sat across from a nice couple that got the waitress to bring English menus for us, and the food was really great. After days of horrid hot dogs (seriously, Russia, how do the lips, cheeks, and rear ends of animals taste so terribly different in the USA?), it was a much deserved break. We had some pork with onions and a really great cheese on top, then mushrooms with the really great cheese on top, and some dumplings that had a beef and pork filling. Sooooo good. Also, I never want to drink anything but sour cherry juice for the rest of my life. Greatest thing ever.
On our bucket list, we wanted to find a Russian woman we mistook for a man. Well, we haven't seen one so far, but ALL Russians definitely have the biggest balls when it comes to getting to the front of a line. If you ever wondered why they produce such amazing athletes, this is why-they ALL want to be first.
Jessica and I went to curling yesterday morning and it was so fun to watch live! The curling rink was FREEZING in comparison to hockey and speed skating...maybe it was because we were closer to the ice, or there were less people, but it was a good help to keep our sleep deprivation from kicking in. Plus, the hottie in the crazy pants on the Norwegian team piqued our interest and held our most rapt attention throughout the games. The USA lost to Canada, and Russia lost to Sweden, but it was still fun and the curling rink was really intimate and close to the action! It was awesome live! I remember when they brought curling back in 1998-I was in college, and we were glued to the TV everywhere we went-parties, bars, etc, because we had never seen anything like it before. Massively great to see one of my favorite Winter Olympic live.
The Paralympics are going to start after the Olympics and we are all still mystified by how exactly they think the mountain venues are handicapped friendly. There are a minimum of 5000 stairs for every event, and no where that I can see where people in a wheelchair could reasonably get there. It's nuts. Are they planning on using a claw like in Toy Story to pick them up and deposit them at their seat? I mean, I kind of hope so because that would be AMAZING.
I feel like I won't need my yearly trip to the lady doctor after the amount and the in depth nature of the patdowns I've received. The security ladies in Russia could tell me if I have breast cancer. Not gonna lie, the full body massage before every train ride is kind of relaxing.
Dear Canada-every Canadian I know in person is a very, very, very nice person. Why do you only send the jerks to the Olympics?
TOILET UPDATE
There is a pretty gross porta potty style toilet near Snowboard Cross, but the rest of the toilets at Snowboard Cross are fine. And porta potties are gross no matter where you go. Also, we thought we had such a great scam going by using the handicapped toilets where there's no line (because no handicapped person can get to these events) and today there was someone guarding them! I know we shouldn't be sad because they're reserved for the handicapped, but STILL.
Funny exchanges:
Me: "Our media is a bunch of whiny little bitches."
British guy: "Your words, not mine."
Erin: I took a picture of that girl that got hurt on the mountain from our gondola to biathlon.
British guy: You are a horrible person.
Talking about how the children don't smile in pictures
Australian guy: I got one to smile, and their parents waved their finger at him. Like "YOU WILL NOT SMILE AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY ABOUT IT."
At a booth at a souvenir fair after buying the Sochi stacky dolls
Russian: Why you buy this? It's terrible
German man: You want sweeties?
Jessica and Lara: WE WANT SWEETIES!!!
Lara: Apparently washing your hands is an American thing???
Bloomberg News Blurb
So, yes, disppointed sisters and disappointed friends we were indeed to have the 2nd of 2 events in a row cancel due to the fog. We had no events for tomorrow, so luckily, the rescheduled times work with what we had going on!! Thank goodness we didn't get more greedy when it came to tickets, otherwise I would be missing out on 2 of my favorite events to watch-biathlon and snowboard cross! Snowboard cross, for those that don't know, is an actual RACE. No timed runs of one person down the hill, just you against the other people beside you. The USA has good medal chances here. WATCH IT. It's great, you'll love it!
Biggest Olympic tip and life tip EVER: Always have an emergency meetup point. Always. At every venue, at every public transit stop, always, always, always have a meetup point. We have found that even though the Olympic crowds are smaller, they are also like the Mississippi River when it comes to exiting. Even in the General Admission section, it can be impossible to find your friends if you meet there! The funny thing we found is that we all DO think alike in "What would person X do?" but that doesn't help when there are thousands of people trying to leave a venue.
After Jess and I lost Erin and Mike, we ended up finally having a proper Russian (well, Georgian) meal at a place in Esto Sodok, which is in the mountain cluster. We sat across from a nice couple that got the waitress to bring English menus for us, and the food was really great. After days of horrid hot dogs (seriously, Russia, how do the lips, cheeks, and rear ends of animals taste so terribly different in the USA?), it was a much deserved break. We had some pork with onions and a really great cheese on top, then mushrooms with the really great cheese on top, and some dumplings that had a beef and pork filling. Sooooo good. Also, I never want to drink anything but sour cherry juice for the rest of my life. Greatest thing ever.
On our bucket list, we wanted to find a Russian woman we mistook for a man. Well, we haven't seen one so far, but ALL Russians definitely have the biggest balls when it comes to getting to the front of a line. If you ever wondered why they produce such amazing athletes, this is why-they ALL want to be first.
Jessica and I went to curling yesterday morning and it was so fun to watch live! The curling rink was FREEZING in comparison to hockey and speed skating...maybe it was because we were closer to the ice, or there were less people, but it was a good help to keep our sleep deprivation from kicking in. Plus, the hottie in the crazy pants on the Norwegian team piqued our interest and held our most rapt attention throughout the games. The USA lost to Canada, and Russia lost to Sweden, but it was still fun and the curling rink was really intimate and close to the action! It was awesome live! I remember when they brought curling back in 1998-I was in college, and we were glued to the TV everywhere we went-parties, bars, etc, because we had never seen anything like it before. Massively great to see one of my favorite Winter Olympic live.
The Paralympics are going to start after the Olympics and we are all still mystified by how exactly they think the mountain venues are handicapped friendly. There are a minimum of 5000 stairs for every event, and no where that I can see where people in a wheelchair could reasonably get there. It's nuts. Are they planning on using a claw like in Toy Story to pick them up and deposit them at their seat? I mean, I kind of hope so because that would be AMAZING.
I feel like I won't need my yearly trip to the lady doctor after the amount and the in depth nature of the patdowns I've received. The security ladies in Russia could tell me if I have breast cancer. Not gonna lie, the full body massage before every train ride is kind of relaxing.
Dear Canada-every Canadian I know in person is a very, very, very nice person. Why do you only send the jerks to the Olympics?
TOILET UPDATE
There is a pretty gross porta potty style toilet near Snowboard Cross, but the rest of the toilets at Snowboard Cross are fine. And porta potties are gross no matter where you go. Also, we thought we had such a great scam going by using the handicapped toilets where there's no line (because no handicapped person can get to these events) and today there was someone guarding them! I know we shouldn't be sad because they're reserved for the handicapped, but STILL.
Funny exchanges:
Me: "Our media is a bunch of whiny little bitches."
British guy: "Your words, not mine."
Erin: I took a picture of that girl that got hurt on the mountain from our gondola to biathlon.
British guy: You are a horrible person.
Talking about how the children don't smile in pictures
Australian guy: I got one to smile, and their parents waved their finger at him. Like "YOU WILL NOT SMILE AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY ABOUT IT."
At a booth at a souvenir fair after buying the Sochi stacky dolls
Russian: Why you buy this? It's terrible
German man: You want sweeties?
Jessica and Lara: WE WANT SWEETIES!!!
Lara: Apparently washing your hands is an American thing???
Sunday, February 16, 2014
How to survive cancellations of Olympic proportions
If ever you take a 1 hour trip to the top of a mountain in Russia, and the biathlon competition gets cancelled, follow these rules:
1) Make friends with an awesome French dude. Sing the French national anthem with him (P.S. Learn some foreign anthems. It's good for you.)
2) Buy your booze before the concession stand closes, pretty much as soon as you hear the event is cancelled.
3) Do not, I repeat, do NOT get into the ridiculous line to go back down the mountain. This is insanity at its best.
4) Find the stage. That one playing a mix of American hits and Russian electronika. If there is no one dancing, pull out your American flag and start dancing. The Russians will arrive in droves to "make a photo" and dance with you. Try to get them to limbo under your flag. Fail.
5) find the snowmobiles. Just in case you need another way down the mountain. Think like James Bond. In the meantime, take 20 photos of yourself with the snowmobiles. And the security guys guarding them. Bonus points if they LOOK like Bond villains.
6) Video the 90% Russian crowd with you. They're unintentionally funny.
7) Find the bar next to the gondola down the mountain that the tricksy concessions people hid from you. On the way in, grab some Haribo from that crazy German dude with a stuffed eagle that's Parrot sized.
8) Accidentally wander into a team area and get your photo with two handsome German Olympian speed skaters, after asking them for directions in German, like they're your tour guides. Get their thoughts on how humiliating it is to wear ugly neon outfits at opening ceremonies when you're a badass.
9) Make Russian volunteer (who is a dead ringer for your Russkie MBA roomie) wait for you while you pee, before he personally guides you down the mountain after it seems to be closed.
10) Negotiate your cab ride home with a group of "taxi" drivers. Yell "nyet" when you do not get the price you want. Don't be surprised when you go home in an auto with no seatbelts. Be thankful they are not drunk like your taxi driver from the other night.
11) Drink the welcome home vodka shot. Because this has been one of the best nights of your life. Ever. #sochi2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Stockholm Syndrome
The last 7 days, I have cheered for the Russians but not the Canadians. No, you didn't read that wrong. No, I'm not in gulag. I have cheered for the Russians because they are undoubtedly the only country that compares in any way to the US when it comes to cheering their athletes on!!! They are very passionate and they are very VOCAL! Whereas I chose to stop cheering for our North American neighbors (and my own relatives) yesterday when I realized that Canada does not return the favor. Never. Like ever. In fact, they actively cheer AGAINST us-which, that's cool, Canada, no biggie, just didn't realize it was a 1 way street.
Best Place to Get Drunk And Take Pictures With Every Stranger Imaginable
Austria House. Located right next to the train station up in the mountains where you go for all the alpine events, it's the perfect meet-up point, beer drinking point, faux podium photo op point, faux ski lift photo op point, giant cowbell photo op point, you name it! Great food, awesome people (it's open to the public, so it's heavily Austrian and Russian populated), and waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better beer than they are serving at the venues.
Can We Just Talk About Baltika Beer?
If you don't see the beer cooler to the right of the cashier, you get warm beer. No, seriously, HOT BEER. If you grab the wrong one, and pick 0 Baltika, it's non-alcoholic. If you are lucky enough to grab your own beer (it's weird to get used to the non-controlled way of thinking about alcohol!), then it's going to either taste like piss or taste like drinkable piss. If Russians think this is beer, no wonder they suck down the vodka.
Crazy Olympic Moments
Everything is so hard to capture. Little moments when you are laughing at foreign names like Freek Van Der Wort, or a Croatian skiier whose name has 9 letters but only 1 vowel, and doesn't appear to be a name as much as a sound effect. Sounds like "Zrrrrrrrrinchhhhhh." Seriously. Or when they show skiiers biting into apples and bananas (???) on the big screen, in non-appealing ways. Or seeing a chick dressed entirely in fur with 8" heels to navigate the ginormous Olympic Park. Or this from a 7 year old boy: "My name is Vlad!" Me: "My name is Lara!" "I am from Vladivostock!" Me: "I am from USA! What's your favorite Olympic sport?" "My name is Vlad..."
I Heart the Olympics.
I mean, you know I do. YOU KNOW I DO. You're sick of hearing about it. The last 5 days have been a melee of meeting other Americans, both awesome and not. (YOU KNOW YOU'RE AWESOME, HEATHER AND BEN!!!) When I tell you that we're like celebrities, I'm not joking-we sang about half the first verse of "Sweet Child 'O Mine" and I watched at least 10 people get up to come running to take pictures with us. We sang the Star Spangled Banner and it was like the Cincinnati Who Concert. I was realizing that LITERALLY this might be the first time these people might be meeting Americans! So we try our very best to say thank you in Russian, to share smiles and laughs and beers and make sure their first impression is the best one and the one that stays!
USA-RUSSIA HOCKEY
Was it loud on TV? Because that place was rocking. Russians know how to cheer! However, we found out that they don't allow beer inside because of laws meant to curb alcoholism in Russia. Which is sad and all, but we love our beer ! (Even if we have to drink the goat piss known as Baltika!)
Yesterday was Men's Super Combined and Ski Jumping. Ski Jumping felt like this awesome party where your friends were strapping themselves to skis and jumping off for your entertainment, but with better equipment and knowledge of physics. It was sad to see Bode not medal, BUT AWESOME TO SEE HIM WALK INTO THE AUSTRIA HOUSE!! Every Austrian kept telling me how much they loved him. Adorable.
Earlier today, we went to Women's Super G. We also didn't medal there, but like 12 women wiped out-it was NUTS!!! FYI, hope you like steps if you're going to Alpine events. I swear we climbed up a 20 story building every time we were there!
Tomorrow-Curling and Biathlon! Skis and GUNS! And a stop at Austria House. Of course. Because.
Best Place to Get Drunk And Take Pictures With Every Stranger Imaginable
Austria House. Located right next to the train station up in the mountains where you go for all the alpine events, it's the perfect meet-up point, beer drinking point, faux podium photo op point, faux ski lift photo op point, giant cowbell photo op point, you name it! Great food, awesome people (it's open to the public, so it's heavily Austrian and Russian populated), and waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better beer than they are serving at the venues.
Can We Just Talk About Baltika Beer?
If you don't see the beer cooler to the right of the cashier, you get warm beer. No, seriously, HOT BEER. If you grab the wrong one, and pick 0 Baltika, it's non-alcoholic. If you are lucky enough to grab your own beer (it's weird to get used to the non-controlled way of thinking about alcohol!), then it's going to either taste like piss or taste like drinkable piss. If Russians think this is beer, no wonder they suck down the vodka.
Crazy Olympic Moments
Everything is so hard to capture. Little moments when you are laughing at foreign names like Freek Van Der Wort, or a Croatian skiier whose name has 9 letters but only 1 vowel, and doesn't appear to be a name as much as a sound effect. Sounds like "Zrrrrrrrrinchhhhhh." Seriously. Or when they show skiiers biting into apples and bananas (???) on the big screen, in non-appealing ways. Or seeing a chick dressed entirely in fur with 8" heels to navigate the ginormous Olympic Park. Or this from a 7 year old boy: "My name is Vlad!" Me: "My name is Lara!" "I am from Vladivostock!" Me: "I am from USA! What's your favorite Olympic sport?" "My name is Vlad..."
I Heart the Olympics.
I mean, you know I do. YOU KNOW I DO. You're sick of hearing about it. The last 5 days have been a melee of meeting other Americans, both awesome and not. (YOU KNOW YOU'RE AWESOME, HEATHER AND BEN!!!) When I tell you that we're like celebrities, I'm not joking-we sang about half the first verse of "Sweet Child 'O Mine" and I watched at least 10 people get up to come running to take pictures with us. We sang the Star Spangled Banner and it was like the Cincinnati Who Concert. I was realizing that LITERALLY this might be the first time these people might be meeting Americans! So we try our very best to say thank you in Russian, to share smiles and laughs and beers and make sure their first impression is the best one and the one that stays!
USA-RUSSIA HOCKEY
Was it loud on TV? Because that place was rocking. Russians know how to cheer! However, we found out that they don't allow beer inside because of laws meant to curb alcoholism in Russia. Which is sad and all, but we love our beer ! (Even if we have to drink the goat piss known as Baltika!)
Yesterday was Men's Super Combined and Ski Jumping. Ski Jumping felt like this awesome party where your friends were strapping themselves to skis and jumping off for your entertainment, but with better equipment and knowledge of physics. It was sad to see Bode not medal, BUT AWESOME TO SEE HIM WALK INTO THE AUSTRIA HOUSE!! Every Austrian kept telling me how much they loved him. Adorable.
Earlier today, we went to Women's Super G. We also didn't medal there, but like 12 women wiped out-it was NUTS!!! FYI, hope you like steps if you're going to Alpine events. I swear we climbed up a 20 story building every time we were there!
Tomorrow-Curling and Biathlon! Skis and GUNS! And a stop at Austria House. Of course. Because.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Even more reasons to love the Russkies
I've been in love with Russia ever since I saw Nicholas and Alexandra on TV and started reading an obscene amount of books about the Romanovs. I could listen to Tchaikovsky for months. I have a CD collection to prove it. After a Russian roomie in grad school and a bizillion Russian books, they became my favorite authors.
As we've been discussing with the many amazing Russian people we have met here, there is so much more to this massive country than what has been portrayed by Bond villains and movies that hearken back to the Cold War. And I'd like to mention a few of them:
Tradition: At the London Olympics, we saw a lot of recent pop culture on display, but here, there is a definite emphasis on their past and tradition. Olympic Park is like a Russian Disney World with performers in traditional costumes, and strains from everything to Chechen drummers, Tchaikovsky, and Mongolia.
Staring: You know the way kids stare at you for a really long time before they're taught they're not supposed to do that? Russians are the best starers on the planet. While I was puking and didn't have time to lock the door on the plane, a guy opened the door, and I'm certain he looked quizzically up and down at me, cocked his head, made some kind of noise, and only THEN closed the door. The thing that you realize is that sometimes staring is the only way that you SEE people. If the British NEVER stare and never care, the Russians are at the opposite end of the spectrum. And their poker faces when they're staring at you leave you wondering whether they think you're weird, interesting, or just American. I love it.
Directness/Forwardness: Americans are known for their directness. The people spreading this rumor must not know Russians. Some choice quotes: "What do you want?"--food stand worker "Give them 500 and LEAVE"--volunteer when asked whether taxi drivers were asking too much for fare "Take a photo with me?"---10 Russians per day who want their photo with us. I appreciate this (as a direct American). Way to get to the point, people. (high fives!)
Ability to change: All you're hearing about on the news is how they don't like gay people and they're so backward. But I was here in 2007. My friend Sarah and I, two pretty international travellers, were once unable to find out how to get to a place on the subway, because we asked over 25 people, and NO ONE spoke a word of English, or could even look at a map and help us. You'll still find that anyone our age or older does not speak English, but little kids are dying to practice their English on us. Those who can speak are eager to talk about how they hope these games will help us understand them better. They're moving forward. They're a MASSIVE country, and just as in the USA, any changes will take time. But I am amazed at the perceptible changes in such a short period of time.
Diversity: My sister said it best the other day: "They all look SO different". You could sit in Olympic Park and see 100 different types of Russian, and it's amazing. Even all the stray dogs look completely different. There's Eurotrash girl, Bond villain guy, cute blonde Slavic guy, babushka lady, guy you thought was Asian until he asked for a photo with you in Russian, man who looks like he could wrestle you to the floor with one hand, Bond villainess, and so many more I can even describe properly.
Ability to throw a party: Make no mistake. You can tell this is the most expensive Olympics ever. It shows. It's an amazing production. They know how to put on a show. They've been doing it with the best ballets and theatres for centuries. Sochi 2014 is amazing, and every Russian should be proud.
Rus-si-a! Rus-si-a! Rus-si-a!
(that's their cheer. We're down with doing it with them until hockey later this week. Then, all bets are off, and it's back to the cold (hockey) war. :P)
As we've been discussing with the many amazing Russian people we have met here, there is so much more to this massive country than what has been portrayed by Bond villains and movies that hearken back to the Cold War. And I'd like to mention a few of them:
Tradition: At the London Olympics, we saw a lot of recent pop culture on display, but here, there is a definite emphasis on their past and tradition. Olympic Park is like a Russian Disney World with performers in traditional costumes, and strains from everything to Chechen drummers, Tchaikovsky, and Mongolia.
Staring: You know the way kids stare at you for a really long time before they're taught they're not supposed to do that? Russians are the best starers on the planet. While I was puking and didn't have time to lock the door on the plane, a guy opened the door, and I'm certain he looked quizzically up and down at me, cocked his head, made some kind of noise, and only THEN closed the door. The thing that you realize is that sometimes staring is the only way that you SEE people. If the British NEVER stare and never care, the Russians are at the opposite end of the spectrum. And their poker faces when they're staring at you leave you wondering whether they think you're weird, interesting, or just American. I love it.
Directness/Forwardness: Americans are known for their directness. The people spreading this rumor must not know Russians. Some choice quotes: "What do you want?"--food stand worker "Give them 500 and LEAVE"--volunteer when asked whether taxi drivers were asking too much for fare "Take a photo with me?"---10 Russians per day who want their photo with us. I appreciate this (as a direct American). Way to get to the point, people. (high fives!)
Ability to change: All you're hearing about on the news is how they don't like gay people and they're so backward. But I was here in 2007. My friend Sarah and I, two pretty international travellers, were once unable to find out how to get to a place on the subway, because we asked over 25 people, and NO ONE spoke a word of English, or could even look at a map and help us. You'll still find that anyone our age or older does not speak English, but little kids are dying to practice their English on us. Those who can speak are eager to talk about how they hope these games will help us understand them better. They're moving forward. They're a MASSIVE country, and just as in the USA, any changes will take time. But I am amazed at the perceptible changes in such a short period of time.
Diversity: My sister said it best the other day: "They all look SO different". You could sit in Olympic Park and see 100 different types of Russian, and it's amazing. Even all the stray dogs look completely different. There's Eurotrash girl, Bond villain guy, cute blonde Slavic guy, babushka lady, guy you thought was Asian until he asked for a photo with you in Russian, man who looks like he could wrestle you to the floor with one hand, Bond villainess, and so many more I can even describe properly.
Ability to throw a party: Make no mistake. You can tell this is the most expensive Olympics ever. It shows. It's an amazing production. They know how to put on a show. They've been doing it with the best ballets and theatres for centuries. Sochi 2014 is amazing, and every Russian should be proud.
Rus-si-a! Rus-si-a! Rus-si-a!
(that's their cheer. We're down with doing it with them until hockey later this week. Then, all bets are off, and it's back to the cold (hockey) war. :P)
Norovirus-Fun for the whole family!
So, contracting norovirus from my sister on my 2nd day in Russia was no treat, but at least I had the sweet comfort of a hotel room and private bathroom, whereas poor Jessica had to go through all that on an airplane! We are both feeling MUCH better, and think we will back to our Olympian task of drinking beer and cheering loudly!!
Russia is so strange, charming, weird, adorable, stern, yet happy and friendly...Winston Churchill really did have their number. We feel like total celebrities-we were asked to take photos over 10 times just today! I have also been kissed on the hand and on the cheek by 2 Russian men, which I would like to say is due to my beauty and charm, but feel fairly certain that they just might be looking for a green card.
The start of our trip as you all well know, started with me forlornly waving at my sister as she was whisked away to a "closed" hospital, and I was slowly gripped with the terror of "How do I explain what just happened to Ron Christenson?" Little did I know, my adventure that night had just begun. I got into a cab to go to our cruise ship in the Adler port, and lucky for me I've been looking at maps of the area, so when I noticed that the Black Sea was on the wrong side and then I could see Olympic Park out the back window, my cab driver had to turn around. Then we were pulled over by the police, due to what I could only tell was perhaps he was not displaying the right certification? I don't speak the language, but that cop was a dick. Then finally, we get to the ship and the cab driver won't break my 5000 ruble note, so we had to drive up the road to some Russian convenience store for me to get change. Of course, all of this occurred whilst the cab drive played the Pet Shop Boys Greatest Hits. It's 1988, y'all!
We had a meet-up mishap with Erin and Mike for snowboarding halfpipe, but got in just in time to watch all 3 Americans see their medal dreams dashed by what we have been told were poor conditions. We're not sore sports, but...well, we are sore sports! On the way back, we took a cab that completely reeked of booze, so we're pretty sure both the driver and his passenger were both drunk. However, they turned up the music and kissed my hand when I got out of the cab, so, you know, bygones.
Did you know that a "Brooklyn" hot dog was topped with cheese sauce, ketchup, and bacon? I really hope Russians aren't basing their judgement of Americans on that, because, UGH. (We only ate that one because the Bavarian style and the Manhattan style were sold out)
We have met so many cool people! The mom and dad of the Fletcher brothers that were in Nordic Combined, the parents of the Australian halfpipe chick, a lady that works for United and a guy from Philly, Abby & Dan who are lucky dogs here with NBC because Dan works for Blue Diamond Almonds, and a dude from Alaska! Today in speed skating, we were literally sitting in a row of Indiana, Ohio, Minnesota, and Iowa. Go Big 10!
TOILET UPDATE: At the P&G House at Olympic Park, you couldn't flush the toilet paper. Everywhere else, we have been able to. Have not been to lovebird toilets at Biathlon yet, but will update when we do.
DOG UPDATE: The stray dogs are adorable. We even saw the famous 3 legged one today! They do like to put on a show, though.
Tomorrow is Ski jumping and Super G!!
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Hospital Medal Count: Russia 1 Austria 0
Initially, I just thought I was sick from taking a vitamin
on an empty stomach. That’s what I thought after barfing 3 times on my London
to Moscow flight. But then I barfed 6 times on the flight from Moscow to Sochi,
spent the entire flight in the bathroom because of the complete lack of concern
of the flight attendants. They also couldn’t be bothered to let me off the
flight early, nor provide a wheelchair to someone who had been sick that badly.
I’m so thankful Lara was there to carry my bag, and demand a doctor and
wheelchair after we got off the ramp. I barfed into a bag again as they wheeled
me out to baggage claim, just for good measure. Poor Lara, that barfbag was the
beginning of the end for her.
We were taken to the airport medical center. There, a
handsome volunteer named Victor (he did NOT look like a Bond villain) helped
translate (NOTE: ALL Russian translators are <25 years old). They examined me
there and asked if I had "problem with needles", and gave me two very painful shots in the butt. I assume was an
intent to rehydrate me, but it’s really hard to say. After a bit, they asked
whether I felt better. But then, they
took my temperature and said that something was wrong and I had
to go to hospital. They said it was only 5 minutes away and that I would be out
in a few hours. They then separated me from my sister and put me in an
ambulance.
55 minutes later, I arrived in a hospital north of Sochi. I
had no idea where I was going, and no one in the ambulance spoke English. There
were no medical services available closer. Luckily for me, there was a
Coca-Cola employee, Max, who spoke English there to translate for me. Once at
the hospital, they took my temperature again and said I had to stay in the
hospital for the night (cue me crying hysterically for the first of many times
in the next few hours). I kept insisting that I would not stay in a Russian
hospital, and that I couldn’t deal with my sister not knowing where I was. Also,
anyone who has known me a while knows I spent the worst medical night of my life
in an Austrian hospital, so I am TERRIFIED of foreign hospitals, particularly
because Max, the one person who could speak English, had to leave. We could not find
a number for the cruise ship I was staying on, and calls to my sister to update
her would not go through (she was waiting two hours for her bag with her phone
charger in it).
They told me that normally they would keep me for 3 days,
but that if I felt better in the morning, they would call a cab and I could
leave. This is when the nursing staff kicked in. They were wonderful. They
couldn’t speak my language, but tried to comfort me, as I was in so much pain,
and crying and crying that my sister didn’t know where I was. They all had
old-timey nurse uniforms on (I’m a fan), and many had icons around their neck,
which was all somehow very comforting.The hospital was actually very nice. It looked like it had been built pretty recently, and although everything wasn't electronic, it reminded me that everything doesn't need to be. I had a room alone with two beds in it, and they came right away when I called them.
They administered a lot of fluids, ran a lot of tests, after
which they put me to sleep. This is the
first hospital I haven’t been cold in (ever), thanks to a toasty wool blanket. I
finally got to sleep at 2:00, after reading Russian stories on my Kindle. At 7:00, I started asking? demanding? a taxi
home. They tried to pacify me with
offers of TV and water, but all I could think about was Shaun White and the
gold medal I would be missing if they didn’t get me out. A new doctor, Sergei
(who happened to be a dead ringer for Despicable Me), came in and explained I
had to reject medical care to get out of the hospital.
While I had been sleeping, Max had contacted my ship and my
sister, and they were sending someone to get me. Thank goodness I stayed on a
cruise ship!! She translated for me to get out of the hospital, bought me
medicine at the pharmacy, took me back to reunite with my sister, and explained
my condition to the ship’s doctor. Even though the ship wouldn’t let me see
that doctor again, I was thankful to know that there was one.
I can't believe this happened to me, but I have to say, that hopefully this only happens once, and I had a good experience (and a MUCH better one that that terrible night in Wien). And I'm in the Sochi, and feeling much better, so as the Russians would say "It's wery nice".
I can't believe this happened to me, but I have to say, that hopefully this only happens once, and I had a good experience (and a MUCH better one that that terrible night in Wien). And I'm in the Sochi, and feeling much better, so as the Russians would say "It's wery nice".
Sunday, February 9, 2014
#sochifacts
Since everyone is so concerned about our security/hotel/sochiproblems, I thought I'd share some Sochi facts.
Three of our group went to London in 2012. We started buying tickets exactly a year from last Friday. We logged into at least 4 ticket drops over the year collecting tickets to 12 events, like a 7-year-old in the 80's collected baseball cards. We've read every Trip Advisor thread about Sochi that exists. After months of no hotel availability and terrible AirBNB opportunities, we booked on a Greek cruise ship parked right next to the Olympic Park. Reports are that they're much nicer than the hotels.
After paying for booking, we had to pay them to give us a letter that gave us permission to apply for a visa. We paid someone to process our visa application, which was specific to Sochi and required a background check. After all the hours spent booking our tickets, we found out that we also have to have a Spectator Pass, an additional level of security, where they run a background check on you. We also had to do a similar application for our cruise ship. There are two checkpoints to gain access to our cruise ship. Every venue will require a Spectator Pass and a ticket. No liquids, AT ALL, are even allowed in the Moscow airport.
Sochi has a population of 400K. Putin ordered 10K troops in early December to surround the area, and that number is now over 40K. We've read every article out there about the hotels, the security, and the black widows. So you don't have to worry about us. I feel safer than I did going to London. Any article that you send to Erin, Lara, and I is now required to have the disclaimer "I'm secretly super-jealous of how awesome Sochi is going to be, so I'm going to try and poop on your party with this article:"
Peace out, everyone, we're going to the OLYMPICS in Mother Russia!!!
USA, USA, USA!
Three of our group went to London in 2012. We started buying tickets exactly a year from last Friday. We logged into at least 4 ticket drops over the year collecting tickets to 12 events, like a 7-year-old in the 80's collected baseball cards. We've read every Trip Advisor thread about Sochi that exists. After months of no hotel availability and terrible AirBNB opportunities, we booked on a Greek cruise ship parked right next to the Olympic Park. Reports are that they're much nicer than the hotels.
After paying for booking, we had to pay them to give us a letter that gave us permission to apply for a visa. We paid someone to process our visa application, which was specific to Sochi and required a background check. After all the hours spent booking our tickets, we found out that we also have to have a Spectator Pass, an additional level of security, where they run a background check on you. We also had to do a similar application for our cruise ship. There are two checkpoints to gain access to our cruise ship. Every venue will require a Spectator Pass and a ticket. No liquids, AT ALL, are even allowed in the Moscow airport.
Sochi has a population of 400K. Putin ordered 10K troops in early December to surround the area, and that number is now over 40K. We've read every article out there about the hotels, the security, and the black widows. So you don't have to worry about us. I feel safer than I did going to London. Any article that you send to Erin, Lara, and I is now required to have the disclaimer "I'm secretly super-jealous of how awesome Sochi is going to be, so I'm going to try and poop on your party with this article:"
Peace out, everyone, we're going to the OLYMPICS in Mother Russia!!!
USA, USA, USA!
Friday, February 7, 2014
Sochi bucket list
Find a Russian woman that we mistake for a man
Find a unibrow
Meet 1 past Olympian
Meet 1 current Olympian
Get a photo with a Russian soldier and his Kalishnikov
Drink vodka with someone famous
Get into a VIP event
Spend time at Fun Party Zone
Clang a cowbell for an American skiier
Find a Russian who speaks English well
Get our photo with the Jamaican bobsled team
Drink a beer with some Germans
High five Shaun White
Watch the fireworks from the deck of the cruise ship
Meet Brian Boitano and charm him with the story of me and Jessica calculating skating scores
Find a unibrow
Meet 1 past Olympian
Meet 1 current Olympian
Get a photo with a Russian soldier and his Kalishnikov
Drink vodka with someone famous
Get into a VIP event
Spend time at Fun Party Zone
Clang a cowbell for an American skiier
Find a Russian who speaks English well
Get our photo with the Jamaican bobsled team
Drink a beer with some Germans
High five Shaun White
Watch the fireworks from the deck of the cruise ship
Meet Brian Boitano and charm him with the story of me and Jessica calculating skating scores
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
NBC Olympic Coverage-Predicting The Cheesy Music Montages
I'm not a sports expert, so it's difficult for me to predict how medals and performances are going to shake out in Sochi. But I AM an expert at WATCHING the Olympics, and I can tell you exactly how some of these broadcasts are going to go. The footage of athletes falling, failing, flailing. The footage of them getting up. The footage of them victorious. Or the footage of them gloriously defeated.
You know what I'm talking about. In fact, the last 2 months, whenever I hear particular songs, I can literally picture how NBC will work a specific stanza or chord into what will undoubtedly be a super cheesy story of how one of our athletes overcame incredible odds to make it to the Olympic stage in Sochi. Since we'll be in Russia for most of the games, I'd love if anyone could tell me how right or terribly wrong I was in my predictions.
Avicii-"Wake Me Up" will be used as background music to introduce background stories on Olympians, with action shots. It will also be used to play out to commercial breaks. Key lyric: "I only have 2 hands."
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis-"Can't Hold Us" is a little bit older, but the beats play perfectly for a Bob Costas special. This one will be used about midway to the end of the Games, with American champions putting up their arms in victory, fist pumping, and general celebration. Key lyric: "Tonight is the night, we'll fight 'til it's over."
One Republic-"Counting Stars". Look, if this is used in a Bud Light commercial during the Superbowl, that's a guarantee that it will be used for all manner of sports broadcasts. I'm guessing this will be a good luge/skeleton song, as the key lyric is "everything that kills me makes me feel alive."
Lord-"Team." I hate Lorde and all of her slowly sung songs that don't really make any sense. This song will be used only for the musical part at the beginning...I'm guessing with Olympians lifting up their faces and opening up their eyes. Seriously, there are ALWAYS shots of athletes opening up their eyes-it's such a cliche. This song seems best suited for it. Key lyric: "Look upon your greatness."
Bastille-"Pompeii". This song has the bombastic greatness that was made for overly sentimental pieces on athletes that have "one last chance" at gold, or are "putting it all on the line." Key lyric: "Does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?...Like you've been here before?" These lines were made for a Vancouver 2010 recap, right??
Finally, let's get to what will undoubtedly be the overplayed and overwrought anthem of the 2014 Sochi Olympics. Yep, you guessed it: Katy Perry, with "Roar." It's almost like Katy Perry wrote the song specifically FOR the Olympics. "Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me ROAR." Look, even my CEO from Europe likes this song. You are already sick of it. Prepare to be drowned in it over the next 2 weeks, people. This is happening.
You know what I'm talking about. In fact, the last 2 months, whenever I hear particular songs, I can literally picture how NBC will work a specific stanza or chord into what will undoubtedly be a super cheesy story of how one of our athletes overcame incredible odds to make it to the Olympic stage in Sochi. Since we'll be in Russia for most of the games, I'd love if anyone could tell me how right or terribly wrong I was in my predictions.
Avicii-"Wake Me Up" will be used as background music to introduce background stories on Olympians, with action shots. It will also be used to play out to commercial breaks. Key lyric: "I only have 2 hands."
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis-"Can't Hold Us" is a little bit older, but the beats play perfectly for a Bob Costas special. This one will be used about midway to the end of the Games, with American champions putting up their arms in victory, fist pumping, and general celebration. Key lyric: "Tonight is the night, we'll fight 'til it's over."
One Republic-"Counting Stars". Look, if this is used in a Bud Light commercial during the Superbowl, that's a guarantee that it will be used for all manner of sports broadcasts. I'm guessing this will be a good luge/skeleton song, as the key lyric is "everything that kills me makes me feel alive."
Lord-"Team." I hate Lorde and all of her slowly sung songs that don't really make any sense. This song will be used only for the musical part at the beginning...I'm guessing with Olympians lifting up their faces and opening up their eyes. Seriously, there are ALWAYS shots of athletes opening up their eyes-it's such a cliche. This song seems best suited for it. Key lyric: "Look upon your greatness."
Bastille-"Pompeii". This song has the bombastic greatness that was made for overly sentimental pieces on athletes that have "one last chance" at gold, or are "putting it all on the line." Key lyric: "Does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?...Like you've been here before?" These lines were made for a Vancouver 2010 recap, right??
Finally, let's get to what will undoubtedly be the overplayed and overwrought anthem of the 2014 Sochi Olympics. Yep, you guessed it: Katy Perry, with "Roar." It's almost like Katy Perry wrote the song specifically FOR the Olympics. "Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me ROAR." Look, even my CEO from Europe likes this song. You are already sick of it. Prepare to be drowned in it over the next 2 weeks, people. This is happening.
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