Hospital Medal Count: Russia 1 Austria 0

Initially, I just thought I was sick from taking a vitamin on an empty stomach. That’s what I thought after barfing 3 times on my London to Moscow flight. But then I barfed 6 times on the flight from Moscow to Sochi, spent the entire flight in the bathroom because of the complete lack of concern of the flight attendants. They also couldn’t be bothered to let me off the flight early, nor provide a wheelchair to someone who had been sick that badly. I’m so thankful Lara was there to carry my bag, and demand a doctor and wheelchair after we got off the ramp. I barfed into a bag again as they wheeled me out to baggage claim, just for good measure. Poor Lara, that barfbag was the beginning of the end for her. 

We were taken to the airport medical center. There, a handsome volunteer named Victor (he did NOT look like a Bond villain) helped translate (NOTE: ALL Russian translators are <25 years old). They examined me there and asked if I had "problem with needles", and gave me two very painful shots in the butt. I assume was an intent to rehydrate me, but it’s really hard to say. After a bit, they asked whether I felt better. But then, they took my temperature and said that something was wrong and I had to go to hospital. They said it was only 5 minutes away and that I would be out in a few hours. They then separated me from my sister and put me in an ambulance. 

55 minutes later, I arrived in a hospital north of Sochi. I had no idea where I was going, and no one in the ambulance spoke English. There were no medical services available closer. Luckily for me, there was a Coca-Cola employee, Max, who spoke English there to translate for me. Once at the hospital, they took my temperature again and said I had to stay in the hospital for the night (cue me crying hysterically for the first of many times in the next few hours). I kept insisting that I would not stay in a Russian hospital, and that I couldn’t deal with my sister not knowing where I was. Also, anyone who has known me a while knows I spent the worst medical night of my life in an Austrian hospital, so I am TERRIFIED of foreign hospitals, particularly because Max, the one person who could speak English, had to leave. We could not find a number for the cruise ship I was staying on, and calls to my sister to update her would not go through (she was waiting two hours for her bag with her phone charger in it).

They told me that normally they would keep me for 3 days, but that if I felt better in the morning, they would call a cab and I could leave. This is when the nursing staff kicked in. They were wonderful. They couldn’t speak my language, but tried to comfort me, as I was in so much pain, and crying and crying that my sister didn’t know where I was. They all had old-timey nurse uniforms on (I’m a fan), and many had icons around their neck, which was all somehow very comforting.The hospital was actually very nice. It looked like it had been built pretty recently, and although everything wasn't electronic, it reminded me that everything doesn't need to be. I had a room alone with two beds in it, and they came right away when I called them. 

They administered a lot of fluids, ran a lot of tests, after which they put me to sleep.  This is the first hospital I haven’t been cold in (ever), thanks to a toasty wool blanket. I finally got to sleep at 2:00, after reading Russian stories on my Kindle. At 7:00, I started asking? demanding? a taxi home.  They tried to pacify me with offers of TV and water, but all I could think about was Shaun White and the gold medal I would be missing if they didn’t get me out. A new doctor, Sergei (who happened to be a dead ringer for Despicable Me), came in and explained I had to reject medical care to get out of the hospital. 

While I had been sleeping, Max had contacted my ship and my sister, and they were sending someone to get me. Thank goodness I stayed on a cruise ship!! She translated for me to get out of the hospital, bought me medicine at the pharmacy, took me back to reunite with my sister, and explained my condition to the ship’s doctor. Even though the ship wouldn’t let me see that doctor again, I was thankful to know that there was one. 


I can't believe this happened to me, but I have to say, that hopefully this only happens once, and I had a good experience (and a MUCH better one that that terrible night in Wien). And I'm in the Sochi, and feeling much better, so as the Russians would say "It's wery nice". 

#sochifacts

Since everyone is so concerned about our security/hotel/sochiproblems, I thought I'd share some Sochi facts. 

Three of our group went to London in 2012. We started buying tickets exactly a year from last Friday. We logged into at least 4 ticket drops over the year collecting tickets to 12 events, like a 7-year-old in the 80's collected baseball cards. We've read every Trip Advisor thread about Sochi that exists. After months of no hotel availability and terrible AirBNB opportunities, we booked on a Greek cruise ship parked right next to the Olympic Park. Reports are that they're much nicer than the hotels. 

After paying for booking, we had to pay them to give us a letter that gave us permission to apply for a visa. We paid someone to process our visa application, which was specific to Sochi and required a background check. After all the hours spent booking our tickets, we found out that we also have to have a Spectator Pass, an additional level of security, where they run a background check on you. We also had to do a similar application for our cruise ship. There are two checkpoints to gain access to our cruise ship. Every venue will require a Spectator Pass and a ticket. No liquids, AT ALL, are even allowed in the Moscow airport. 

Sochi has a population of 400K. Putin ordered 10K troops in early December to surround the area, and that number is now over 40K. We've read every article out there about the hotels, the security, and the black widows. So you don't have to worry about us. I feel safer than I did going to London. Any article that you send to Erin, Lara, and I is now required to have the disclaimer "I'm secretly super-jealous of how awesome Sochi is going to be, so I'm going to try and poop on your party with this article:" 

Peace out, everyone, we're going to the OLYMPICS in Mother Russia!!! 

USA, USA, USA!

Sochi bucket list

Find a Russian woman that we mistake for a man
Find a unibrow
Meet 1 past Olympian
Meet 1 current Olympian
Get a photo with a Russian soldier and his Kalishnikov
Drink vodka with someone famous
Get into a VIP event
Spend time at Fun Party Zone
Clang a cowbell for an American skiier
Find a Russian who speaks English well
Get our photo with the Jamaican bobsled team
Drink a beer with some Germans
High five Shaun White
Watch the fireworks from the deck of the cruise ship
Meet Brian Boitano and charm him with the story of me and Jessica calculating skating scores

NBC Olympic Coverage-Predicting The Cheesy Music Montages

I'm not a sports expert, so it's difficult for me to predict how medals and performances are going to shake out in Sochi.  But I AM an expert at WATCHING the Olympics, and I can tell you exactly how some of these broadcasts are going to go.  The footage of athletes falling, failing, flailing.  The footage of them getting up.  The footage of them victorious.  Or the footage of them gloriously defeated.

You know what I'm talking about.  In fact, the last 2 months, whenever I hear particular songs, I can literally picture how NBC will work a specific stanza or chord into what will undoubtedly be a super cheesy story of how one of our athletes overcame incredible odds to make it to the Olympic stage in Sochi.  Since we'll be in Russia for most of the games, I'd love if anyone could tell me how right or terribly wrong I was in my predictions.

Avicii-"Wake Me Up" will be used as background music to introduce background stories on Olympians, with action shots.  It will also be used to play out to commercial breaks.  Key lyric: "I only have 2 hands."

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis-"Can't Hold Us" is a little bit older, but the beats play perfectly for a Bob Costas special.  This one will be used about midway to the end of the Games, with American champions putting up their arms in victory, fist pumping, and general celebration.  Key lyric:  "Tonight is the night, we'll fight 'til it's over."

One Republic-"Counting Stars".  Look, if this is used in a Bud Light commercial during the Superbowl, that's a guarantee that it will be used for all manner of sports broadcasts.  I'm guessing this will be a good luge/skeleton song, as the key lyric is "everything that kills me makes me feel alive."

Lord-"Team."  I hate Lorde and all of her slowly sung songs that don't really make any sense.  This song will be used only for the musical part at the beginning...I'm guessing with Olympians lifting up their faces and opening up their eyes.  Seriously, there are ALWAYS shots of athletes opening up their eyes-it's such a cliche.  This song seems best suited for it.  Key lyric:  "Look upon your greatness."

Bastille-"Pompeii".  This song has the bombastic greatness that was made for overly sentimental pieces on athletes that have "one last chance" at gold, or are "putting it all on the line."  Key lyric:  "Does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?...Like you've been here before?"  These lines were made for a Vancouver 2010 recap, right??

Finally, let's get to what will undoubtedly be the overplayed and overwrought anthem of the 2014 Sochi Olympics.  Yep, you guessed it:  Katy Perry, with "Roar."  It's almost like Katy Perry wrote the song specifically FOR the Olympics.  "Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me ROAR."  Look, even my CEO from Europe likes this song.  You are already sick of it.  Prepare to be drowned in it over the next 2 weeks, people.  This is happening.

What's YOUR favorite Olympic memory?

We've shared ours....now it's YOUR turn! We'd especially love to hear from our readers outside America, since many of ours are from our childhood in the USA!

Giddy with Star Spangled Anticipation!

Our trek to London in 2012 for our Olympic adventure was epic in so many ways...and here we are again, 31 days from departing for Sochi!  With 5 times the tickets, we are confident this will result in 5 times the fun.  And 5 times the monkeyshines.  And 5 times the shenanigans!

We need to make sure that you are aware of something right off the bat-the Olympic Games are not being held in Sochi.  They are being held in Adler, who must be some kind of red-headed step-middle child in the order of Russian cities.  Did Adler displease Putin in some egregious way to get the location "name" stripped from them?  We may never know.  Sochi also "claims" to be the longest city in Europe.  (Is Sochi trying to compensate for something??)  Also, Sochi/Adler are located in a sub-tropical zone.  No, you did not read that wrong.  It will probably be the first time the Winter Olympics are held in a location where a heavy parka might cause you to sweat during the day, however, the mountain events (skiing, bobsled, etc) ARE being held on an actual mountain. The average temperature in January is 50 degrees.  Brrrr!


Confession:  I love the way Eastern Europeans construct their sentences in English.  I think it's adorable.  (I hope that doesn't sound patronizing).  As we've worked with several Russian folks in booking housing and attaining visa invitation letters, please allow me to share with you the most awesomely phrased communications we've received from the very nice folks in the Russian Federation.

"Unfortunately for Louis Olympia no seats.  Perhaps places will be in January. But not for the fact."

 "We note, that during Olympics not far from our hotel will take place big Fan-Zone."  (Big Fan-Zone??  Sign us UP)


"From our house to the Olympic objects by transport to go is about 2 hours."  (I think she might have used Google Translate...)

"Why do not you pay with a plastic card?"

 "We can make you Visa support."

 I'm so excited to hear these kinds of things with a beautiful Russian accent attached!

Trivia is BACK!  I am working on figuring out a way to incorporate the Risk gameboard (map of the world) into the mix, but am still a little stumped.  We are planning Trivia Night for after the USA-Russia Men's Hockey game-BEST NIGHT EVER!!  We will be posting a calendar with the events we're attending, so be sure to let us know if you spot us on TV!  (We'll be the ones voraciously shaking our flag!  Oh...too vague?  We'll be the DRUNK ones voraciously shaking our flag!)  No word yet on whether the exalted, loved, and universally adored Chase Visa VIP Lounge will be in Sochi, but we have our fingers crossed, and our stomachs empty to eat and drink up all of the rewards that being a Chase Visa cardholder can get us!  If not, we'll have to check out this big Fan-Zone that our AirBNB friend Sergei mentioned above.

Remember the Battle of the Brians?  Remember the Battle of the Carmens?  Remember when Dan Jansen fell down 2 times after he learned of his sister's death?  Remember when Bonnie Blair and her mullet dominated the speed skating track?  Remember the first time Apolo Ohno won a gold?  Remember Shaun White's balls out INCREDIBLE performance in halfpipe in 2010?  Remember the Jamaican bobsled team?  Remember that awesome Tom Brokaw report for the Vancouver Olympics on the USA-Canada brotherhood?  Remember Oksana Baiul and how she turned into a train wreck?  Remember the ice skating judging scandal?  Remember Nancy Kerrigan getting cracked in the knees?  Remember the rush of adrenaline when we beat the Soviets Russia in ANY winter sport?  So many amazing Winter Olympics memories I can name, but I know one thing-the ones I'll remember for the rest of my life are about to go down in exactly 1 month.  I have the world's greatest travel/drinking/carousing/obnoxious friends a girl could wish for to accompany me!

What to wear to the Olympics: A rough guide

Packing for any vacation always presents a plethora of decisions. Should I pack a heavier coat? What if I spill something on my clothes? Can I do laundry? In addition to the weather and size and weight restrictions, the Olympics present an entirely new set of issues: what should your OLYMPIC wardrobe look like?? 

Your Olympic wardrobe shouldn’t break the bank, but you also don’t want anyone to pass you on the street wondering which team you’re cheering for. A few simple suggestions:

THE FLAG:

Don’t leave home without it. You should have at least one that’s LARGE—it’s MUCH easier for NBC to spot a flag when it’s the size of a person. Our sources also tell us that choosing a flame retardant material could be important for when you encounter hostile fans from other countries. But don’t stop there. Party City and loads of other stores stock Old Glory in every shape and size. A few of our favorites: 

--Gameface tattoos: You can order large quantities of these for very little money, and then no matter what you’re wearing, your allegiance is apparent. (tip: these are also great for sharing with Americans you encounter who are not appropriately dressed. We don’t understand such people, but we do support helping them)

 --Small flags on sticks: If you’re worried about space, a tiny flag can always be shoved into your back pocket or camera bag and whipped out at an opportune flag waving moment. 

--Bunting: Not only can you use this to make your living space more festive, it can be fashioned into a sash (think Ms America) to add a little pizzazz to any outfit.

Headwear:

Your best investment pieces are worn on your head. This is what cameras will see to potentially put you on television. If you’re an American, a cowboy hat is a great option. Although Americans typically associate them with the South and rural areas, the rest of the world sees a cowboy hat and knows you’re a Yank. 

The winter Olympics will offer a great opportunity to show off the red, white, and blue in a variety of styles. Start watching for hats that feature USA colors the year before the games, and you’ll likely get a bargain on awesome knitted caps. You’ll definitely want more than one, in case you lose yours après ski in a bar, or it gets stolen by a jealous Russian fan. 

Red, White, and Blue clothes:

Depending on the year, these can be very easy to find. Old reasonably priced staples like Old Navy, the Gap, and Urban Outfitters often offer pieces that feature the flag, as well as basic pieces in red, white, and blue. These are great picks, because you can wear them before and after the games. You can do a lot with a navy sweater when you pair it with a face tattoo, a flag sash, and cowboy hat. Be creative. 

If you don’t get clothes in advance, remember you can always head to the American house to get the latest Olympic gear, but it will be priced exorbitantly. Then again, you’re at the Olympics, so treat yourself!

Don’t be afraid to be bold. No one remembers the guy who went to the Olympics and wore a black Columbia jacket. Don’t be that guy. Aspire to be the guy who wears body paint and a wig to Men’s halfpipe. Everybody loves that guy. 

USA! USA! USA!